Kennedy Centre Honors 2008

The Who are being honored this year at the Kennedy Center, and I for one am pleased. They're in good company, along with Twyla Tharp, Barbra Streisand, George Jones and Morgan Freeman.

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Haldron, Palin and the End of the World as We Know It

The Haldron particle accelerator, a massive, underground taurus, 17 miles in circumference, situated near the border between Sweden and France, will hold its premiere moment this coming Wednesday, September 10, 2008.  An auspicious date, no doubt.

Those proponents of hard science, and by this I refer to folks who are dedicated to the processes which have yielded momentous achievements in human history: travel to the moon, separation of hydrogen from oxygen, and exacting calculation of the girth of our planet, amongst thousands other discoveries - all or most of these so called "scientists," are very excited about the implications of this event. In essence, the aim of those running the big accelerator is to imitate some of the forces and conditions that existed when the universe first formed. The prospects for virtually every field of science are simply enormous.  Fortunately, there are plenty of us rational, family-minded, good folk around the globe who believe that this event may precipitate nothing other than the demise of the planet.  Allow me to posit that the feared demise began just shortly before this coming Wednesday - a couple weeks back, and perhaps in none other than St. Louis.

Sarah Palin, the person chosen by John McCain to be his running mate for the Republican ticket in the U.S. presidential election of 2008, is likely among those who are scared of the Haldron Accelerator. Given that the accelerator's purpose and theoretical grounding holds close partnership with such fatuous and absurd ideas as evolution and the big bang, it and its crafters must be bosom buddies with Beelzebub himself.  Cue the audio clip of a cackling Dr. Evil.  Afterall, Ms. Palin is also of the belief that the connection betwixt global climate change and the aggregate carbon footprint manifested by humans over their skimpy 5,700+ years on earth is of dubious legitimacy. She's so smart. She's just so pretty and sharp and wow, what a genius. It makes me proud to be counted among the species that shares genetic material with Sarah Palin, her son-in-law to be Levi Johnson, in addition to other laudable characters such as Ronald Reagan, Joseph Goebbels, Catherine the Great, and Atilla The Hun.  God has such a remarkable sense of humor.  First a plague of frogs upon Pharaoh and now this.

Yes, it just may be true.  It is actually possible in some remote theoretical constructs, that the Haldron Accelerator might cause the whole enterprise of human activity to be swallowed up by a black hole.  The world could indeed be coming to an end.  But don't you see? It's all happening at once - a veritable cascade of biblical prophecies! The popularity of Sarah Palin, a phenomenon only predicted by Carl Rove himself, was of such remote likelihood a short march of days ago, though at the same time is no less than meteoric.  Let us take heed though, because while meteors are probably harbingers of God's wrath and not remnants of a physical universe that is fourteen plus billion years of age, let us use such expressions as "meteoric" only as kind metaphors.  Let's call that governor of juicy lips a shooting star!  Science and God are coalescing in a super moment before our eyes!  An elephant of truth and great consciousness is taking charge!  The stem cells are crying out, and now finally, they have a cadre of "Hortons" that will dutifully carry out their bidding. The world's not coming to an end, but rather it's the dawn of a new age. As Steve Martin once said of the aforementioned president who succeeded Jimmy Carter, ". . . I believe that (Ronald Reagan) can make this country what it once was; an arctic region covered with ice."  Let me then extend that pronouncement to the demented and clearly senile, white-haired Navy brat who chose a bimbo of gargantuan proportions as his running mate.

This autumn is going to be so fun.  I'm jumping out of my skin.

Eden's Simchat Bat

Eden's Simchat Bat

Tiny Astronaut

My latest creation. . . .

Hilarious!

Yiddish Theatre: A Love Story

I love this! My favorite is in the first 30 seconds when the guy responds to the question about Yiddish. My dad z'l would have loved that moment!

Testing Rob's Player

Jewish Comedy Channel

Lewis Black on Dick Cheney

George Carlin RIP

Theodore Bikel Sings O' Chanuka

Can you believe this man played Lt. Warf's father on Star Trek: The Next Generation?

JTN Pre Roll Test

Another Tricky Day

JTN - Come Visit Me at my new home!!!

IBA News

Obama in 30 Seconds Ad

Hi everyone,

here's a link to my "Obama in 30 Seconds" video entry.

Killer Whale

A boat-full of ancient sailors for lunch
Eating machine of teeth, and earthly rancor
Knowledge and wrath
Tang of sinew, and choking mucus
Vertigo, slippery sleek chases
Toil and spiral

Endless protons in gallons of salty brine
Messenger of heaven across airless waves
Soul mate to the blackened Exxon seas
With haunting natural scrape
Invested in bloody iron and protein
God, oh please God, don’t let me be

To Download the Player or Not To Download The Player

My So Called Life

So here's the scoop. I visited ABC.com and saw that they had old episodes of "My So Called Life" available for download! Cool! I really liked that show! But alas, it required a proprietary media player to view the show. So that inspired a rant; but this came out in my dad's voice after a few lines. So here goes.

To Download the Player or Not To Download The Player

I really don't understand why I should be required to download a proprietary player, just to watch "My So-Called Life." I get the whole promotion of HD thing. But you know, some of us would actually prefer some half-way viewable narrative content on television instead of a fakakta gimmick. I speak for myself, okay? You can call me a luddite, okay, I don’t care. Listen; I don’t need for this television show to be screened via the whole "nicey-nice" HD picture, okay? As a matter of fact, what’s with this whole requirement, this governmental edict that you (network) guys are required to shift to HD anyhow? HD, shmaytch dee. I never advocated for this. I think HD looks great, it’s nice, it’s very crisp, and the colors . . verry nice. . . But I don’t want it and I’m not paying for a converter. No. I don’t want it, and I don’t need it.

Tell me why I need it. This whole HD is a tax that I didn’t ask for. Taxation mitt out a representative. You can take me out of the concentration camps, but you can’t take the concentration camps out of me. You want to create a different reality? Create it for yourselves. You want to watch crisp and nice pictures of car crashes, and deh zonot mit de tuches in d’rossen? Go. Lech l’azazel. Go buy it, go enjoy it in your own house. Go choke on it. I’m not going to stop you. I don’t want to take your house away. I don’t want anything from you. You want me to pay for the TV show? Shove it, all this styoopidity. That’s all. What the hell happened mitt de soap commercials? Heh? Ah kapoor zolztreffen. It’s not enough? No, now a Flash player isn’t enough, a Quicktime isn’t enough. Now I need a special ABC player to play ABC content. Go to hell. The ground can eat you up alive and spit you out.

I know what you want. You want. . . for me to have a disease running around my computer that learns how I shop and how I spend, and knows my credit card number, and my blood type probably too. And vut else, heh? The color of my gatkes? But you know what’s really mean? And believe me, it’s mean. This disgusting thing you do, with all your technology. You’ll come into my house and rape my computer of all my personal information, and then you’ll turn around mit a peersomet that this show is brought to you by, de cholera veist, a Ford, a Matsubushi. You’ll try to pretend that that the TV show is a gift. It’s free. Biiiiiig Deal! Macht nicht a toyves. You know what? I don’t want to say it, because I don’t know whose reading this. That’s it. Okay.

You tell me that the congress voted to “free up” airwaves. Free up? Ah balt gaiben a free-up. This is a hold-up! Let me tell you something; this taking of my hard-earned cash is tantamount to a constriction. You’re choking my forty-one-year-old trachea. Sal detaldal sozegain. This shtick Bushey; you’re telling me that he pays for his HD? I’m paying for it. Dis ugly, styoopid, nothing. What is he? A nothing. The United Snakes of America. Do you think we're just a bunch of nothings? A mindless horde of Sesame Street-GenXers and sugar-fat idiots who'll just let your nefarious ABC applets infect our precious six-year-old Macintosh computers? Not on bread alone does a man live.

A free country . . . A lie! Sickening! A computer that, that, that . . ah ganseh menuvalim, shtick fet kets . . that I can't afford to upgrade, because of the economy; and Bernanke can go to hell too, together with this shtick fayet, Greenspan who should hide his shameful face. And the cholera congress. What kind of hole did they put us in? Let them all go to hell, a gang of meeseh ganavim. A bunch of liars. Who’s the congress, anyway? A bunch of drunks. Mitt de dopes, and AIDS. Who do you think they are, sach ha kol? A bunch of hoodlums.

But Moynihan, he was all right.

Elections in 2008 - Call To Action

Former Florida Secretary of State, Katharine Harris
Pictured on the right together with former Florida Governor Jeb Bush and Adam Putnam,Polk County Congressman (R), FL

“That lie we have been told, the separation of church

and state, people have internalized, thinking that they

needed to avoid politics and that is so wrong because

God is the one who chooses our rulers…” - Katharine Harris

_________________________________________________________________________________

We must ensure that our system for electing public officials is transparent and accountable for every single citizen and to all interested parties, be they members of the domestic or foreign press, allies, and for those who seek to criticize or demean our nation.

Eliminate Electronic Polling
Our aim should not be to employ technology for its own sake, for the benefit of a contractor, or just to prove that it's possible. Rather we must focus our energies on providing free and unfettered access to polling stations to all members of the citizenry, and move quickly to open up the collection, counting, and tracking of all ballots to international observers.

It's Really Important
The trust in our system, the value of our currency, and our very credibility will stand upon the dignity and solemn attention we direct to OUR electoral process, now and into the future.

Don't allow our nation to be further marred by any questions of impropriety, racism, classism, or claims to discrimination of any sort within the electoral process.

Click this link to make your voice heard:

Sign Your Name To Integral Elections

URGE YOUR REPRESENTATIVES TO RETURN US TO A SYSTEM OF PAPER BALLOTS

URGE YOUR REPRESENTATIVES TO ALLOW OVERSIGHT OF OUR ELECTIONS BY TEAMS OF INTERNATIONAL OBSERVERS

On Awe, Astonishment of Existence

In a world where there are no eyes,
the sun would not be light.

In a world where there were no soft skins,
rocks would not be hard, nor in a world where there were no muscles
would they (rocks) be heavy.

Existence is relationship, and we are smack in the middle of it.

-Alan Watts